Note: This is one of the longest blogs that I have posted. It focuses on the healing of my personal family that goes back nearly sixty years. So, settle in, and get ready to be inspired by this saga. Enjoy!
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Starting on Monday, May 24, 2021, and continuing for seven days, we are going to focus for a fourth and final week on our I Am Power of will that expresses via the respiratory system. This is our cycle to crystallize and manifest our I Am will quality in all that we do. Our theme is: Free your Family.
Let me illustrate this manifestation of spiritual will by sharing my experiences during my healing journey with my personal family and with the family of man.
My personal family was composed of five of us: my father, Hugh; my mother, Aleta; my older brother, Dick; and my younger, short-lived baby sister Rosalie. The number five represents healing. And a significant part of my healing training in using the will faculty has involved the healing work with my personal family throughout my life; and continues today.
Five Lobes
In terms of the will aspect that manifests via the lungs, symbolically, the five of us Knapps were like unto the five lobes of the two lungs. (See the previous blog titled Light up your Lungs.)
There are three lobes in the right lung, which represents our masculine, conscious aspect in utilizing our I Am power of will--so these three are like my father, my brother and myself.
Two lobes comprise the left lung, which represents our feminine, subconscious and feeling nature in making our choices--so these two lobes were like my mother and my baby sister.
All five lobes are independent of one another, and can function on their own; but they are also interdependent with one another to give the two lungs their full, healthy, vibrant functioning.
Likewise, each family member is a separate, independent soul who functions on his or her own. However, what one member of the family does, ripples out into the family matrix, the overall family will aspect, and influences the choices that each other family member makes.
Moreover, what any one of us wills and does ripples out to the entire human family near to, and far away from, us. We are one global family who is destined and duty-bound to do the will of God in healing humanity.
Death of Love
My younger sister, Rosalie, was born on June 15, 1962 and died about 7 months later on January 30, 1953 after a short illness of a few days, which was diagnosed only as gastroenteritis, or inflammation of the digestive tract. Her sudden, unexplained death was devastating especially to my mother, but also to all the rest of us. Mom, like most mothers in this situation, tended to blame herself for her beloved daughter's death.
Over the next month or two, Mom descended into a deep depression and eventually had to be taken to the mental hospital in Rochester, NY, north of our hometown of Dansville, NY, population of about 6,000. At that city hospital, she underwent the then preferred method of treatment for acute depression: electroshock therapy (EST), later called electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) because each shock of high voltage electricity applied to the brain caused a convulsion or epileptic seizure.
Shock Therapy
To this day, I find electroshock therapy to be a bizarre, barbaric treatment and rationale, one that alleges ridiculously that this method can make people well by disrupting, distorting and causing damage to the brain and its billions of nerve circuits. How can causing the brain to have seizures or convulsions possibly be a benefit to a person whose brain already is partially non-functional? It makes no sense whatsoever.
Even a ten-year old adolescent, using basic common sense, knows that putting high electrical voltage through the brain, the most delicate, complicated, sophisticated, and amazing computer in the world, cannot promote its health. You might say that this conclusion is truly a no-brainer. It is an instance when so called objective science wrongly evaluates and promotes findings that later will be debunked. That time cannot come soon enough.
Meanwhile, shock therapy continues to be promoted and used today by psychiatrists, with an estimated 100,000 people in the United States and as many as a million people worldwide going through this treatment every year. When antidepressant medications do not work, shock therapy remains the treatment of choice.
Hierarchal Guidance
Way back on April 28, 1961, John Mark channeled via Nada-Yolanda that shock therapy (EST) should be avoided because the damage and disruption to the brain carries into and adversely affects the subtle, non-physical bodies, meaning the astral, emotional and mental bodies; in fact to all of our seven bodies. See MAPP to Aquarius, p. 61.
In essence, what happens is that after undergoing shock therapy, one can no longer make a solid connection with the I Am Self and light body, and thereby never can be fully healed of the soul scar or the brain disruption. Such people may appear somewhat normal after being shocked a series of times, but they have what I call "scrambled" brain disorder. They can handle various non-threatening, non-stressful duties and functions, but they basically fall apart emotionally, psychologically and physically when the situation they confront is too stressful. They may have memory loss and an inability to think through complicated situations, among other known deficits.
My Mom was like this when she came home after her series of about 30 shock treatments. In fact, she even got a full-time job in addition to raising the family. She did everything she could to be a good wife and a good mother to my brother and me. She never was re-hospitalized or retreated. And yet, it was apparent to me as I grew up, although not fully understood at the time, that she was not normal, she was not the mother I had known before her illness and supposed beneficial treatment. She was a "shell" of her self.
I since have met and counseled with numerous light workers who have had EST, and have done auric balancings and healings for them. They all have this similar condition of having a "scrambled" brain. Their auras all have been distorted, disjointed, irregular and out-of-sync or balance. Although I never worked with enough auric balancings to facilitate a full healing, such individuals always did improve. I have no doubt that such people can be fully healed. In fact, I have read of several instances where this has occurred, always due primarily to a spiritual healing.
Some people who have EST are even successful in their occupation, even though they have various deficits mentally, emotionally and physically. The vast majority, however, never fully recover, unless spiritual healing by specially trained healers is administered.
Modern brain scans, including CTs, MRIs and fMRIs (functional MRIs) do not show actual brain damage or death to brain cells or neurons (so-called structural damage) that occurs with blunt trauma or strokes. Rather, the disruption of brain centers and circuits evidently is more subtle, such that modern technology, as advanced as it is claimed to be, cannot detect it.
Therefore, the American Psychiatric Association claims that shock therapy does not cause structural brain damage, and that it is a scientifically sound way to treat recalcitrant depression. However, such doctors, researchers and associations all readily admit that they have no idea why or how shock therapy actually works.
Light Body Healing
In so-called modern, supposedly improved electroshock therapy, drugs are given before the shock therapy, which blunt or totally stop the convulsion or seizure. Moreover, the electrodes conveying the electricity to the brain are placed only on the front and back of the right side of the brain, rather than on both temples, which allegedly primarily shocks the right cerebral hemisphere. This is supposed to diminish common difficulties after the shock therapy with conscious thinking and analysis, which takes place via the left cerebral hemisphere. But, imagine what it does to the subconscious/soul/intuitive functions that anchor in and through the right hemisphere. So, how can that be helpful?
Fifty years from now, doctors and others will look back and not believe how misguided, willful and blind physicians were who recommended and used this barbaric treatment.
What is missing today is the lack of spiritual, superconscious, I Am Self awareness and healing. Like all chronic, major illness, it is the spiritual, light-body healing methods that are most powerful and effective. As long as so-called modern medicine focuses only on mental, emotional and physical approaches, and particularly just physical treatments, it will never heal deep, chronic, debilitating depression.
We only have to look at the example of Jesus curing all manner of disease to show us the way to a New Age of healing.
One of our spiritual projections this week will be to the medical, psychiatric community that they turn within to Spirit and their own spiritual or Christ or superconscious Selves to receive the new healing approaches that will be effective; that they stop relying on their own free will to do things that obviously are damaging and disruptive, and at best band-aids for treating depression. Not my will, but Thy will be done, which is that all be healed and made whole and restored to their inherent holiness as children of our Father-Mother God.
As we see it and spiritually will it, so must it be.
Dream Recall
I was 6 and three-quarters years old when Rosalie died and my mother was hospitalized. I was too young to really understand death, and no adult even attempted to explain it to me, except to say that Rosalie was now in heaven. For, they too did not understand what had happened and why.
(When Mom was in the hospital, my brother and I stayed with my Aunt Mary, Uncle Harold and their two children for about 2 months. Of course, looking back, I find it symbolically significant that a woman name Mary would have taken care of my brother and me during this difficult time, since Sol-O-Man/Mary is my master teacher; she is my Comforter.)
What I did know and feel deeply back then is that I had lost the two females in my life, particularly my mother whom I loved dearly. (Little did I realize then that she was my twin soul.) I grew up and became an agnostic or atheist--how could a loving God possibly have allowed such a tragedy to occur?
And, it took until I was 26-27 years old that I dreamt that I was back at our home in Dansville when my mother was taken from our home and placed in an ambulance to convey her to the mental hospital. In the dream, a wise, loving, masculine voice above and behind me said: "You were so devastated by your Mom's loss that you decided never to love anyone again. It was too painful to lose someone you loved." (I believe it was Sananda-Jesus who spoke this to me; it was the same voice that now at times "speaks" to me in dreams, visions and overshadowings.)
So, there it is, in regard to last week's blog focus: Will to Love and Love God's Will. As a near 7-year old, I had willed or made the choice never to love again, and from then on I had not trusted or believed in or loved God's good will.
Cause and Effect
I had friends and girlfriends as I grew up, and I was popular in school, being elected Student Council president. But I always had a reserved part of me that I guarded, a shield over my heart that prevented me from getting too close to anyone or rightly loving them. I appeared psychologically healthy, but I truly was not. As it was revealed to me many years later, I had a symbolic "hole in my heart", a hole in my soul.
It was only after I had my spiritual awakening when I was twenty-years old, and had discovered the law of karma and reincarnation, that I began the journey to heal myself and my family. Obviously, all of us in our family had soul karma that had to be healed this lifetime; I was the "chosen one" to lead the way, since I was the first to awaken spiritually.
No doubt I had misled my family members in past lives, going back perhaps eons of times, so now was the time to make all things new, to cross out the past errors and to resurrect a loving family.
Every family member had been scarred by the traumatic experience of the death of my sister. Her name, Rosalie, means "beloved one." A rose is a rose is love. When Rosalie died, Third Ray personal love had died in our family. We were no longer "in the pink," with pink being the color of the Third Ray.
In a sense, to use the will-respiratory system analogy, my left lung, its two lobes relating symbolically to my mother and sister, had died. I had suffered minor depression after Rosalie's death, and have been depressed at times throughout my life, usually after intense creative cycles and activities, including recently. And I have been prone to respiratory illnesses such as allergies and such.
Medical & Psychiatric Training
After college at the University of Rochester, NY, I attended Upstate Medical School in Syracuse, NY from 1968-72. I had been awakened spiritually in my senior year of college, and had been exposed to yoga, Zen Buddhism, other Eastern teachings, and the Edgar Cayce teachings on reincarnation; as well as to numerous alternative healing approaches, including nutritional therapies, chiropractic, herbal medicine, meditation, prayer, hand's-on healing and radionics.
So, my goal for medical school was to become a spiritual physician, what later would be called a holistic or integrative doctor; one who used the best of all proven conventional and unconventional healing approaches, and whose central focus was I Am light-body healing.
Moreover, I planned to specialize in psychiatry. Part of my motivation for this was that I wanted to develop a better understanding and insight into what had been such a traumatic experience with the death of my sister and hospitalization of my mother. I wanted to heal my soul and my family's soul. I felt a fervent desire to help others who had gone or would go through similar trials and tribulations.
While in the one year of my psychiatry residency at Upstate in 1972-1973 before I went into private practice, I especially studied EST and first began to understand the multiple factors involved with and the resulting condition of "scrambled brain order" that resulted from it. I saw many patients who had EST and studied the literature about it.
During my residency, I met and learned from some doctors who denounced the use of shock therapy from a scientific vantage point. My family healing took a new step forward, both from a psychological and a physical standpoint. Of course, no one in medical school or the psychiatry department believed in karma and reincarnation, or in spiritual healing. However, I attended yoga groups where such teaching was fully accepted and explained. I avidly read books by medical researchers who had investigated reincarnation and had documented near-death experiences.
Moreover, during my psychiatry training, I came across a description of a unique healing center in England, I think in London if I remember correctly, that specialized in treating women who had lost a young child and were deeply depressed. This center had developed special counseling methods for dealing with this condition, which were highly effective. They used few drugs and never used EST. They provided a deeply loving environment and community in which mothers could be healed. A high percentage of such mothers returned home and were able to reestablish active, normal, productive, balanced lives. And they had no residual brain disruption from shock therapy. Oh my God, I thought, how I wished my mother had been treated in this proven way!
Even today, however, there are no such centers available or operative in the USA that I know of, whereas the number of hospitals has grown who provide EST. But there soon will be more holistic healing centers to treat depression, as we visualize them and call them forth. So be it.
Healing Haven under Hilarion
In summer 1973, as guided by Mark and Yolanda at Mark-Age, I traveled to England to study radionics, a technique that combines one's psychic senses with a physical instrument to measure the "radiations" or "vibrations" of the soul-astral, emotional and mental bodies, as well as those "vibrations" of the seven major chakras. Since these auric energies are not physical, there is currently no other way to measure them except by employing the psychic senses.
After two months of intense radionic training, I returned to Syracuse and set up my medical practice. Since radionics was considered a "quack", non-scientific, non-acceptable healing approach by the orthodox medical community, I never talked about it with my clients but rather used traditional blood testing, X-rays and such; and treated people mostly with homeopathic remedies, nutritional and herbal therapies, auric balancing, acupressure and other hands-on healing methods; even while I utilized radionics behind the scenes in my diagnostic and treatment work.
In October 1974, I joined the Mark-Age MetaCenter Staff in Miami, Florida, which had been my goal since going to medical school. I was welcomed as the Medical Director of Healing Haven. Finally, I was "home".
In 1975, Nada-Yolanda inspirationally received, under Sananda's overseeing, our Mark-Age text Birth of the Light Body. This epic treatise describes the 12 powers of our I Am Self and how they manifest in the body as twelve major organs and systems. While she was receiving this information and later, I did extensive radionic readings to document and verify it, plus I researched the medical literature. I wrote the medical/physical sections of the book.
Birth of the Light Body is an update, verification and refinement of Charles Fillmore's pioneering book The Twelve Powers of Man. He was an incarnation of Hilarion, who is the Chohan or Director of the Fifth Ray of Unity, Integration and Healing. He is the etheric director of Healing Haven.
Birth of the Light Body provided any number of new healing approaches and techniques that I began to apply in healing myself, other staff members and my personal family.
Then from January 12-May 24, 1976, Hilarion presented via Nada-Yolanda a series of weekly channelings and question-and-answer sessions about holistic healing that were titled the Healing Haven Conclaves. In one of these channelings, Hilarion gave a four-step technique for being a healer. I have described this numerous times in my recent blogs and all of us have practiced using it.
In April 1976, I had a vivid dream in which Hilarion appeared before me and told me that he was going to teach me to heal in the same way that Christ Jesus healed. In essence, that was what the four steps mentioned above contained. At the time, I did not know if I or others following this approach would bring forth dramatic, so-called miraculous healings as Jesus had. We later learned that such miraculous healings were not the order of the day for most conditions or diseases that needed healing, but that a slow, gradual, step-by-step process was preferable to demonstrate and teach to mankind how to follow a holistic approach in healing the whole person.
Begin with your Family
As guided in my dreams and realizations, I started using the four-step healing approach with my personal family. In meditation, I connected with my crown chakra to commune with my I Am Self and that of others in the higher planes; focused next on my third-eye chakra to receive new I Am images; then on my arms and hands to be able to transfer and manipulate the higher energies pouring through me; and finally on my feet to be sure that I was well-grounded and anchored in this physical, third dimension.
To this, after some practice, I often experienced an activation of my heart and love aspect. In fact, this love emphasis began in the very first healing exchange that I tried, which was with my Mom. After all, love is the key to all healing.
After going through the four-step technique, I pictured my Mom standing a few feet in front of me such that the edge of her aura touched and intermeshed with my auric boundary. Then I opened my heart and such love poured through me to her that I was astounded. In all the various forms of healing and meditation I had previously utilized, I never had felt such an all encompassing and uplifting love vibration! Tears poured down my face as I melted into divine, loving union with her.
I had no clue at the time that my Mom was my twin soul; but looking back later, of course the realization came that this initial healing exchange with her was the first sign that this was the case. Her identity as my twin soul did not come until 1992. No wonder I currently felt so much cosmic love for her!
However, I pondered after my first healing exchange with her whether or not maybe it was the new healing technique that had led to my extraordinary experience. So, I moved next to working with my Dad. In contrast, I felt little or nothing with him, and barely was able to connect with his I Am Self. He and I never had been close mentally, emotionally or physically. But, obviously, he also had a high Self and he was in need of healing in mind, body and soul. So over the next several weeks and months, I worked diligently, almost on a daily basis, to see and call forth this harmonization of his four lower bodies and the birth of his light body in and through him.
In the first healing session with my brother, I experienced much more connection and loving exchange with him than with my father. After all, my brother and I had bonded as children when our sister died and we were taken to my aunt's to live. We were fairly close growing up and through our high school and college years. So, the connection was there. It just needed to be enhanced. I fully expected that he would have a spiritual awakening before Mom or Dad. So much for my predictions!
Mom as Astral-Soul Healer
As a measure of verification for my loving initial communions with Mom, in the early winter months of 1977, my parents vacationed in south Florida in Boynton Beach and visited me at MetaCenter in Miami where they met Mark and Yolanda. Neither Dad nor Mom were pleased that I had joined a spiritual community and had given up what they thought was my traditional medical practice. To them, I was throwing my life away. How could I explain to my parents that I never wanted to be a conventional doctor or psychiatrist, that I now was in my right place?
While they were still in South Florida, I had a wonderful dream. In it, Mom was with Mark, Yolanda and me at MetaCenter, full of love, light, smiles and joy; shining in glory like I never had seen her before. Of special note, she had large breasts. After we finished our talk and sharing, Mom said that she had to leave and go to her work place, which was in a room or series of rooms that adjoined MetaCenter but which in actual, waking life were not there.
Mom explained that she worked in these adjoining rooms as a nurse or helper in what was a nursery or a birthing center. This was her specialty, the nourishing and guiding and loving of newborns and young children, hence her big breast symbology. Only much later did it dawn on me that this birthing place was probably symbolic of the sixth astral plane where light workers birth their light bodies, following the 12 I Am powers approach given in Birth of the Light Body. In other words, in her soul functions, Mom was an integral part of the Mark-Age Healing Haven team. This realization blew my mind!
Given all this, as a result of my ongoing spiritual healing work with Mom, I fully expected that she would be healed of the past brain scars from her shock therapy and from the emotional residue of the death of Rosalie. I felt confident that she would be restored shortly to full health as I had seen her in my above dream and in my visualizations.
Imagine my dismay, then, when six years later, in 1982, she was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, a devastating brain disorder in which there is death of nerve cells in the substantia nigra at the base of the brain. This leads to tremors, loss of coordination, depression and a slow slide into complete inability to function physically or mentally.
(Even today, doctors and researchers do not know the cause of this disease. However, I long since have felt intuitively and logically that in my Mom's case, this severe brain disorder was the result of, or caused primarily by, her shock therapy. Despite this inner knowledge, I cannot find online on the web any long-term medical studies that have researched or documented this possibility. Hopefully, such studies will be done in the future; or the existing ones will be more clearly revealed.)
My God, I thought, why have I failed in my healing work with Mom? What possibly could be the meaning of all this? However, after an initial adjustment, I continued to work with her in my spiritual healing projections and hands-on-healing when I was home with the family in Dansville, NY on Christmas vacations. Surely, I thought, nothing of good in my healing projections will be lost. Somehow, someway, she will be healed!
Thy Will Be Done
In pondering all of this, I was reminded of Hilarion's explicit guidance during the Healing Haven Conclaves. He had said that we as healers are to hold the new healing image for others and to keep the faith that indeed it will manifest. However, the time, the way, and the place where this healing occurs is not for us to determine or to know ahead of time. That is in God's good hands. He-She alone knows what is best for each soul in their eternal ongoing healing journey.
In my Mom's case, I had a series of dreams and meditations that indicated that her Parkinson's disease was karmic in nature, and that living through it was paying off or erasing that past negative soul pattern.
Mom's healing occurred with her death and transition to the astral planes on May 10, 1990. I had spent three or four days with her at the local hospice in south Florida, when it was clear that she was about to pass over to the other side of the veil. Just 2 days after she did expire physically, she came to me in a dream looking reborn, renewed and in a younger body that appeared to be about 40 years old. She was in her astral body in which she now would grow and evolve, and eventually move back into her special healing function in the sixth astral plane healing and birthing centers.
In the dream, she earnestly asked me if there was anything that she needed to change or have forgiven about herself that was a residue from her life as my Mom. I told her immediately, with my whole heart, that there was not a single thing that she needed to forgive in regards to any mistreatment of me. I told her how much I loved her. And then she left with a middle-aged man wearing what looked like a Navy pilot's flying jacket. He symbolized her astral guide who was teaching her how to "fly" and maneuver in her astral body in the higher astral planes.
Dad Is Reborn
My father Hugh's spiritual awakening began in January 1982, when he was alone at a rented trailer in south Florida. He was still reeling from having to take care of Mom in her gradually worsening condition, and deeply disliked doing so. At the same time, my brother had entered into psychological counseling and begun to explore his childhood. Rather than forgive my Dad for his past actions and his lack of outward caring during the time that Mom had been hospitalized and afterwards, Dick wrote Dad a rather testy, nasty letter that demanded answers to several pointed questions about Dad's past unloving behavior, none of which Dad wished to openly admit or discuss. It had been a taboo subject for nearly thirty years, and as far as he was concerned, he wanted to leave it that way.
At the trailer, Dad was alone, as Mom was scheduled to fly to Florida in a week. Moreover, none of his relatives or friends were in the area. So, he felt especially isolated and anxious. I was totally busy with my work and functions at Mark-Age MetaCenter, so was not scheduled to meet with him until after Mom arrived.
Pacing the floor one day, a knock came on the door. It was a minister looking for a Mr. Smith--he had the wrong address. Dad had seldom set a foot inside a church in the last three decades, but now he invited the minister inside to talk with him. After a short visit, the minister prayed over Dad, speaking in the name of Christ Jesus for the Holy Spirit to pour out on him as he touched his shoulder. Which is indeed what happened!
When Dad telephoned me that night, he excitedly exclaimed that during the above experience, the fire of God had flowed down and into him, and that he had been reborn and forgiven. I could scarcely believe my ears. But as I listened and later when I visited him, I could sense that this indeed had been and was continuing to be a valid experience.
Afterwards, I marveled about how many times in the last six years in my healing prayers for him I had visualized just such a pouring out of Spirit upon his flesh, and had begun to think that it never would occur. But now it had manifested in Spirit's inimical, amazing fashion. Needless to say, I profusely thanked our Father-Mother God and all agents of God who had co-participated in this interdimensional outpouring, birthing and awakening.
Slowly, over the following years, starting with this spiritual breakthrough and renewal, we developed a loving father-son relationship. When he finally made his transition on August 12, 2008, at age 95, I felt certain that the great bulk of our karma together, whatever it had been (and I had had some dreams about this over the years), was now forgiven, extinguished and re-balanced. God is good. God is Great!
I Am My Brother's Keeper
My brother Dick's spiritual reawakening and healing was the last one to occur in our family. As mentioned earlier, I initially had thought that he would be the first to have such an experience. Partly, this was because even when I was in my senior year in college and in medical school, Dick had read some of the world's spiritual literature and continued to periodically do so over the years. But he was mostly interested in it from an intellectual viewpoint, and not as a practical reality or possibility that he could apply in his own life.
It was not until about 2016-2019 that Dick had more signs of a budding birth of his I Am Self. He tried meditation for awhile but then dropped it. He focused on a Higher Power during his involvement with a twelve-step AA type program (he was not an alcoholic). And he had a vivid dream that a masculine, loving, powerful, all-knowing voice had said to him: "Follow me." In time, he had concluded that Jesus was calling him, like Jesus had called Saul on the road to Damascus. But, Dick doubted that this was the right interpretation and felt that he might have been misled by a lower, negative entity that was masquerading as Jesus.
During this time, I had several dreams that indicated that spiritual quickenings were occurring in Dick's subconscious, and I hoped and felt that soon he would have a spiritual rebirth. On the other hand, I had been praying off and on for this to happen for some forty years, so I had my doubts about all of it.
Then, in the fall of 2020, Dick went through a deep emotional crisis and breakdown. Before that occurred, we had talked on the phone about spiritual things, and he actually had prayed and linked from where in lived in New Mexico with Phillel and me at our weekly Hierarchal Board Meditations. (Dick lived in New Mexico.) But, I always ran up against a brick wall when I tried to share with him more directly the higher spiritual truths and teachings, so I had backed off from phone or email communication with him.
When he "hit bottom" so to speak, the realization and spiritual guidance came clearly and repeatedly that I was to get more involved with Dick, mostly via phone. Now it seemed like he would actually listen to and "hear" what I had to offer, although it was actually more so that he could accept and benefit from the love I had for him. I called him every morning for several months, and he began to have a deeply felt spiritual awakening. And I knew that all of this was my opportunity to heal whatever long ago soul threads I had with him. Time and again, I received and affirmed and lived my mantrum: I Am my brother's keeper.
Forgiveness Heals
At about the four-or-five month period of this soul healing work, more and more the strong thought and realization came that I was to forgive my brother, and to tell him that he was forgiven. We had talked extensively about the past, our childhood trauma, our resulting scars, how to heal them and so on. But at some point, such a psychological emphasis and method of therapy loses its effectiveness.
In fact, some people get caught in all the drama of the past and never move forward and upward and out of it. They wallow in their pain. They almost take on the identity of a martyr and perversely feel special because of their deep suffering. Of course, many so-called Christians still do this today.
Despite the guidance to forgive him overtly, not just in my silent meditations, I hesitated. Who was I to forgive him? After all, I still had my own challenges, both psychological and physical. But my turning point came when I reread Christ Jesus' words at the Last Supper to his Apostles. He called upon them to love one another as he had loved them; and he proclaimed that when they forgave others their sins, the sins would be released and removed; but if they refused to forgive others their debts or mistakes, then these sins would be held.
Furthermore, I realized that his Apsotles were not perfect either, no more than I was. But we all loved and served Christ Jesus and the Second Coming program as best as we could. If we were not qualified and capable of forgiving others, then who was?
So, I started by sending Dick a text on my phone saying that I forgave him. Then the next day in our phone conversation I spoke openly and strongly that he was now forgiven by me as a longtime disciple of Christ Jesus going back fifty years. He was deeply affected and moved. And I felt sure that I had done the right thing, that it had been guided by Spirit, and that my brother would be transformed by it, all in God's good time and way.
Sananda's Forgiveness
When I hung up the phone after that conversation, I felt deeply overshadowed and realized that I had felt much transfiguration of an ascended master while I had talked with Dick. In a bolt of clear insight, I knew the etheric presence was that of Sananda-Jesus. Not only had I forgiven Dick, but Sananda had forgiven him through me, greatly multiplying the effectiveness and impact of my words. In a sense, Sananda was teaching me how to forgive as he forgave. It was an extraordinary feeling.
And then, Sananda said to me, "As you forgive, so are you forgiven. As you forgive the debts of others, so are your debts forgiven." And then he conveyed conclusively, "I forgive you. Go and sin no more!"
This about knocked me to my knees on the floor, so overwhelmed was I by his forgiveness that wiped out all the sins, mistakes and errors in my soul going back eons of time; all the negative, selfish patterns I have been working so long and so diligently to correct and heal all of my spiritual life. I managed to stagger over to the couch in my living room, plopped down and let the whole experience soak into my whole being, into every cell in my body. I did not move for nearly an hour.
One realization that dawned on me during this time was that my next major step was to employ this higher degree of healing forgiveness on a more routine, daily fashion, until it became almost automatic. It reminded me of Jesus being asked by one of his Apostles how many times he was to forgive someone: Was seven times sufficient? And Jesus had responded that this Apostle, and we as his disciples, are to forgive seven-times-seventy times. Obviously, forgiveness is a lifetime-long practice, now and in future lives to come.
One interpretation of this is that as we move through each of our seven major initiations, we step up to yet another rung and octave of forgiving others, and thereby of being forgiven. Forgiveness is what is most needed now on our beloved planet. Father, forgive them, for the vast majority of people incarnated today, even many so-called light workers, know not what they do. Father, forgive the doctors who use EST. Father-Mother Creator, forgive all of us. So be it.
Rosalie Reappears
What about my baby sister? Whatever happened with her? How does she fit into this ongoing family healing saga?
Well, from the time in 1976 when I started the healing family focus, I occasionally visualized her before me as a young baby. I had a picture of this from my family photo album in which I was lovingly holding her when I was six years old. But, I never felt any actual connection or communication, psychic or physical, with her over the years. It was like she had incarnated for a just a brief few months, played her role in the family drama, perhaps paid off her karmic debt in that way, and then never reappeared to my conscious awareness.
However, in the last couple months, I have had two visions that may symbolize that she is now about to re-emerge and make herself known to me. These visions, however, were too indistinct and too unconfirmed for me to want to share them with you now.
Then, on May 19th of this year, just a few days ago, at our weekly Hierarchal Board Meditation here at I Am Nation headquarters in Tennessee, I was shown a third, vivid vision that led me to think again about Rosalie. In this vision, a brilliant, shining, pink flower appeared over my head, which was about a foot in diameter and had hundreds of petals. It was unlike any vision I ever have received. At first I had no idea what it might mean.
Then a second pink flower, like unto the first one, appeared to the left of the top of my head and slowly merged into the first one. With it came an down-pouring and in-flooding of love into my consciousness. I was especially struck by the pink color of the two flowers, which is the color of the Third Ray of Personal Love, and the color of I Am power of zeal that manifests via the hypothalamus at the base of the brain and correlates with our soul.
Several levels of possible interpretation came to me during the next few days. First, I thought of the two pink flowers as representing my brother and me, with our joining together now in brotherly love and oneness.
Then I thought the second flower also may represent my Mom, who in the higher, soul-self identity and work I call Serena--we too are bonding interdimensionally in yet a higher way that ever before as both of us work together, she in the astral planes and me on Earth, to help awaken and guide and "parent" my brother and others.
Then I thought of Dad as being represented by the second pink flower, and marveled at this probability and reality.
And finally, I thought the pink flower may very well represent Rosalie, who had been my baby sister. After all, her death had symbolized the death of personal pink love in our family. Now, our family of five has been resurrected in love for one another.
And maybe now, Rosalie will show up consciously to me in some way. The bonding and communication already has taken place in the higher planes, hence above my head. Maybe in time, the bonding will be felt and anchored in my heart, and I may have some definitive contact with Rosalie. Then again, my pink flower vision may be primarily symbolic. Time will tell. Thy will be done!
What I do know with great certainly is that our whole family of five is now "in the pink."
Planetary Projections
In your meditations and visualizations this week, start by focusing on your personal family, seeing each of them imbued with the pink light of the Third Ray of Personal Love. Concentrate especially on any family member, also including your aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephews, as well as your own children, who currently are a problem child, and not yet a healthy child of God; who are perhaps even a "thorn in your flesh." Time and again, with steely willpower, chose to love them, one and all.
Then, project the pink rose of love-light to each of the 144,000 elect, some of whom are living everywhere around the planet, in the West and the East. See a pink rose atop each one's head, having descended there from the higher planes, from the ascended masters and angelic guardians and space visitors; and then visualize this rose slowly descending and anchoring into the heart of each of these spiritual brothers and sisters, each of these light workers on the planet.
In time, visualize the whole planet surrounded in and suffused by pink light. It comes down from above, down through the 144,000 and out to each family and to the entire family of man on Earth. See each person on and about the planet in the astral planes choosing to love one another, and doing so daily and decisively.
Will it. See it. Be it. Be love in action. Amen.
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